Are we being strong enough?

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I’ve been trying to find other blogs in my niche, meaning I’ve been looking for other bloggers who also write about their lives and their own experience with finding happiness.

Today, I visited Kristen Traverse‘s lovely website. It gleams of fear of the unknown, willingness to live, and fully being in the present moment.

I recommend you read the following article even though it was published a few months ago. The author shows such courage. Speaking about her personal experience, she empowers the reader to take control of his own life. She talks about the difficult moments we face during a lifetime, but insists that we fight through them. I find she truly speaks from the heart.

” Everyone is recovering from something. It may be a job loss, a death of a loved one, a traumatic event, depression, a miscarriage or at this time in my life, a stroke and all of the endless recovery that comes along with that.

Heartache is easy to come by in this life. Everyone’s lives are filled with times of struggle, unhappiness and days that you don’t want to crawl out of the sheets because if you face another day like the last one, it might crush what soul you have left. I think if we are honest with ourselves, everyone has felt like this at one time or another, only some of us are better at hiding it and plastering on a fraudulent smile. Our struggles are different, but our emotions link us together.

[…] You alone have to decide you are worth saving,  you alone have to crawl out from under the covers and do what you thought was not possible. ” (Save Yourself, Because You’re Worth It; July 30, 2015)

Here is the complete article Save Yourself, Because You’re Worth It by Kristen Traverse. Don’t hesitate to wander through her blog, she publishes wonderful articles about life, wisely written.

-Be stubborn and don’t give up. It may not be easy, but you have the power to make your life a better place. 
Cristina, ox

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What changed my perspective from one day to the other?

How did I end up reorienting my whole future? What changed my perspective from one day to the other? 

A few years ago, I started reading self-help books about productivity, happiness, gratitude, overcoming stress, letting go and rising strong. I always thought that improving and working on ourselves was an infinite process. Being a better person was always my goal and I would actually try to reach it, I would not postpone it like a lot of other things. I felt like I could never read enough information. Today, I think it is my favorite section at the bookstore, I always find myself wandering there for hours.

I always say If you are not happy with the person you are, change and become a better person and If you are ashamed of who you are, then you need to work on what you don’t like about yourself. The excuse This is the way I am, so deal with it never worked with me. In fact, hearing it makes me quite mad. You cannot pardon your behavior by simply saying that you have always been a certain way. You are responsable for your actions and your words. You probably figured it out, yes, I can be hard on people but I am so when I believe it’s for their own good.

However, only a few weeks ago did I reevaluate for the first time the future I had been planning for myself for years now. And all of a sudden I drastically saw my life take a change of direction. 

I was looking for a documentary to watch on Netflix. The Secret caught my eye. I had heard of it before but I couldn’t remember exactly what it was about. I quickly read the summary, being pretty skeptical about the power of attraction I decided I would give it a try anyway. At first, I found the introduction was kind of creepy : a lady opens a book, there is a note on it saying ” Moma this will help oxox” and all of a sudden you see flashbacks of people with long beards holding candles probably hundreds of years ago. I confess, I’m not the bravest person in the world when it comes to watching horror movies. I did look behind my shoulder a few times even if I was home alone. I didn’t understand why they put that part in the movie and I’m still not sure I do. In my opinion, it makes people more skeptical because it gives a surreal aspect to the movie.

But anyway. I did watch the whole movie. At the beginning it sounded crazy, they present stories of people who believe in the power of attraction and its benefits: this little boy wants a bike, he starts to think about the bike and then he has the bike. It seemed kind of simplistic and idealistic to me. But once you reach the middle point of the documentary they start to explain how the power of attraction works instead of just saying that it actually works with ecstatic examples. You start to understand a little bit more the concept and you become more open-minded or even curious about it. Although I am still skeptical about this Law of Attraction theory, I do believe it would be nice if what they say about the power of attraction is true and actually works.

In the following I will summarize briefly -or as briefly as I can- what information I retained after watching the documentary. 

If you wish to watch the documentary you can find it on Netflix and probably on Youtube as well. If you have seen it already, please share your thoughts on the subject. I would love to hear you impressions and have a glimpse at how it was received by the community. Some may say it was too spiritual or illogical? While other may have experimented it as a life changing discovery? I also sincerely hope you evolve and even flourish after reading the information provided in this blog. Nothing would make me happier than helping people in similar situations. 

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In you want more information, here is a link to a description of the documentary The Secret I am referring to in this article. It was released in 2006. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0846789/

 

THE MAIN ASPECTS OF THE LAW OF ATTRACTION DEPICTED IN THE SECRET (2006) : 

According to the The Secret, the effectiveness of the Law of Attraction depends on a process that can be divided in three phases. There is also a key element about the power of attraction that we need to keep in mind. I will start by explaining this last one.

KEY ELEMENT : You need to identify your thoughts before you have a positive effect on them. For the Law of Attraction to have a positive effect in your life, you need to have positive thoughts. You are aware of your thoughts when you notice and identify your feelings.

We have up to 60,000 thoughts a day according to the documentary. Since we can’t be conscious of every thought passing through our mind due to it’s high number, being aware of your feelings is more possible and easier. If you are feeling good or happy try to identify why you are feeling that emotion. What is the source of your happiness? What are you thinking about at that precise moment? The same thing goes if you are feeling depressed, sad or angry. Try to understand what thoughts are generating those feelings.

HOW DOES THE LAW OF ATTRACTION WORK? According to the Law of Attraction, when you think about something (either positive or negative) it attracts that “something-you’ve-been-thinking-about”.

Lets illustrate the Law of Attraction with the following example. Try to imagine yourself in this fictive situation. A single man meets a woman when he stops at a café before going to work on a Monday morning. They both have lunch later that week and she tells him that she recently got out of a relationship and isn’t looking for anything serious at the moment. Later that night, this man feels sad and realizes that he is having thoughts about his last breakup. He notices that his thoughts are repeatedly “Why am I always alone? No one ever wants to be in a serious relationship with me.”. According to the Law of Attraction, if he doesn’t change his mindset he will stay alone since he is focusing and thinking about “being alone”.

Now, lets reverse this example and pretend that this same man is, on the contrary, feeling happy. He observes that he is thinking about the time he spent with this woman even though she doesn’t want a romantic relationship. He is remembering how they got time to enjoy themselves together and how he surprisingly made her acquaintance. The little voice in his head is telling him “I am grateful for meeting that person out of pure coincidence this week”. In this case, the Law of Attraction is putting in his direction more people for him to meet since he is focusing on “meeting people”.

THE THREE PHASES OR STEPS OF THE LAW OF ATTRACTION :
Here are the key steps to find success in the Law of attraction according to The Secret (2006):

  1. Ask for it: Ask for what you wish for instead of dreaming of it to happen, even if it seems unobtainable.
  2. Believe it can happen: You need to believe in the power of attraction for it to work, but you also need to believe that what you are asking for can be given to you. Believe that you deserve what you are asking for.
  3. Receive it : Visualize it happening. Visualise yourself getting what you want or dream of having. In The Secret, there is a big emphasis in this visualization process. Visualizing it makes you feel the way you would if it was really happening. You should feel a positive emotion while imagining it. This emotion will activate the Law of Attraction by sending this “positive energy” in the “universe”. (Here I am quoting. Those are not my words but the language they use in the documentary to describe the power of attraction.)

According to Law of Attraction, the universe and everything in the universe is composed of energy. And we, as humans, are also a frame of this energy. Said differently, we have this energy within us. Thus, when we ask for something and feel the good or bad energy that emanates from it, the universe conspires to give it to us.

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Basically, this is what you need to keep in mind: Don’t do something that you don’t like, you are not creating the right future for yourself. Rather, you are receiving more of “what-you-don’t-like” and you are going even further in the wrong direction. Do what you like and more will come of it. 

So, what now? Enough with the theory.

After watching The Secret and hearing about this theory on the power of attraction, I can’t say I completely believe in it. Though the one thing I can proclaim is : It got me thinking and putting my life in perspective. It made me think about what I really wanted. For the first time, writing was not only a dream. I was considering going after what I really wanted instead of believing it was an impossible goal to achieve.  After watching this movie I took a few minutes to collect my thoughts. And then I decided that I would write and travel for a living instead of continuing my path down this life I had been planning. They weren’t bad plans, but not the ones for me.

From now on, I will be documenting my thought process while I take a drastic change of direction in my life. This is an experiment I am conducting on myself. I want to document what I find and describe my everyday life while I try to achieve my goal. I am hopping this goal will make me truly happy. I want to share the information I find and my mindset’s transformation hopping it will also help you find yourself if needed. Cristina Ws is my personal blog on finding the key to being happy and true to ourselves.

-Do more of what makes you happy!
 Cristina, ox.

What do I really want?

As I was saying before, I moved to this somewhat town in Ontario, Canada, where my charming fiancé lives and works but I can’t find a job. Even though, I was still registered as a graduate student, I felt like all the hard work I had put into my résumé those past years was now worth nothing. Being unemployed did not help me meet new people and make friends. I felt like the only person having to live in those circumstances in town. I would go to the library to work on my master’s research projet, but I’d be the only one there for hours. They would even tell me that I couldn’t bring coffee into the library. My reaction? “WHAT? Why? Does anyone work here? Coffee is a NECESSITY when you spend hours in front of a computer!” I was used to those huge libraries, full of students and open 24/7. Although in this town the library was actually closing for two hours at diner time so that the volunteers could go home and eat supper with their family.

After living here for a few weeks, I began searching for a reason that would make me want to stay. I thought that if I changed my perspective and saw this town as an opportunity – an opportunity for what? I wasn’t sure yet – I would be happier. I started thinking about my life, picturing my future, visualizing my dreams and the career I wanted. What life did I want to live? How did I want to spend my time? I came to this conclusion :

1. I want to be a writer. I want to write books for a living, either in French or English. Though, I am conscious that writing in English may touch more people as it is a more universal language. It would be a lot of work but it would also give me the opportunity to improve my second language.

2. I want to travel the world. I want to learn about other cultures. I want to understand and  write about culturally different people, about how they live and how they see life.

Therefore, I have decided. In this blog I will document information I explore and judge to be helpful on my quest for a satisfying and fulfilled life, the life of a-soon-to-be-traveling-author. After all, I can start writing wherever I live, can’t I?

 

What, Where and When : The Meaning

I remember. In High School, they used to teach us literary genres such as poems, myths, novella and short stories. They would ask us to write stories.

The narrative structure can be divided in three parts (which we call the three-act structure). It contains the Setup/Introduction, the Conflict/Complication, and the Resolution of the story.

For those of you who want more information on the subject, in the Setup the author, or the student in my case, had to answer those questions before we started writing : When and where is the story happening?; Who is the main character?; What is happening? What is the main character’s quest? What is he looking for? There had to be a problem for him to solve. In the second act called the Conflict, the main character finds himself in front of an inciting incident that will disrupt his life. Things are about to change for him. He will go on the quest that is meant for him. Lastly, in the Resolution, the main character solves the problems and the story comes to an end¹.

What, Where and When? is about my life, about not knowing what the future will bring me, where I will be, when I will exploit and venture in my life’s purpose and what that purpose will be. It is about me unfolding the process of discovering and reaching my life’s purpose. It is about me starting my own story.

 

¹ See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narrative_structure for additional information.